Sometimes Its Like....I Love me More?

I was thinkin about this statement this morning while I was driving to work. Dam, should I not love myself enough to pursue my dreams, to fulfill my desires, go places and see things that I always wanted to see? And if I put my dreams to the side, does that mean that I don't love myself? Kinda crazy, all through my life, I have been focused on my goals. I wanted to play basketball, although I lost dam near every girl I ever had because of my focus, I don't regret it one second. Hell lookin back, I had fun. Not fun like a water balloon fight on a summer day (yea those were fun too) but I mean fun like, I did everything there was to do. I scored, I played, I was on TV, I experienced fame on a small level and it was fun. Looking at all of the people who were lost along the path, I wouldn't give up one inkling of that experience for anyone of them. Dam, I love me more. I look at what I do now, I'm a teacher at a middle school. Its the most fun at work I have ever had. I mean, I feel fulfilled, I walk on campus and its like, LOVE, I'm talkin about that pure gourmet Sh*t (lol). I mean, I have been doing this for the past 3 years, and I devote myself, everyday, to making those kids better, which makes me better. Not just the ones in my classes but all of them, I try my hardest to show them their potential, that nobody out there is better than them, other people may have more but they are human just like you are. I love the kids, I like what I do, I love standing and talkin to each one about the things i went through, I like how I walk through school and the kids know i show love and they got love for me. But, dam, here comes the quake, in a couple of weeks its time to graduate. Not them, they do it too, but this time its me. I graduate, I move on, and where I'm going who knows if there's any coming back, or should I say going back. Its funny because every couple of days, I get a knock on my classroom door and its always some funny looking deformed kid (lol) standing there saying, "What Up Mr. G?" I usually have to look twice, because the time between 8th and 9th grade the kids grow and change a whole lot. The first time this happened i was like dam, the kids actually came back, but its not like they came back just to say hi, most of them asked me questions and wanted guidance, kinda like..."what do i do next?" Dam thats love, you got these kids who people say aren't ever going to be anything, now they are in school, ready to learn and wanting to learn more. I mean they know I got love for them, they know I'm there when they need an ear to listen. But then, now I gotta go, Dam, I love me more. I have been thinking lately about it, should I just stay and be what I have been. I mean they come back to the school, we created a fraternity type thing, they feel welcomed, or maybe its just my perception of the whole thing...O well, life is about changes and moving on....but my dilemma is...Is loving me more, wrong? and how much should I love me?...Kinda deep, I'd like to hear what u guys have to say about it

Why o why did i need cappucccino??

This thought came up when i was sitting in class waiting for it to start. The question came from a song by MC LYTE (one of the greatest female rappers ever) called cappuccino, in the song, she has a desire to go get a drink of cappuccino from a cafe and the cafe ends up getting robbed and she gets shot and dies...Its pretty deep because when i say it, its more like dam why did i have to do this, what made me take this course of action which leads to a long chain of events that ultimately changes my life. Like what makes want to goto the store at that time during the day, in my everyday life very few things happen to the extent of the song, but in retrospect, things happen on the daily and they do have an effect on my life, some are subtle, while others are huge. The subtle ones do things like make me more motivated to do better in my life, while others allow me to appreciate my position. Then you have the huge interactions, the ones that leave an impression with you, leave you with things that you think about for days and days until you finally come up with a resolution, but that resolution is never set with you (im sure somebody knows what i mean) Those are the ones that i love, because i love to think...when i dont have things to think about, my days are pretty boring, because i spend my time trying to find things to think about which are usually not as deep as things that force me to start thinking...ill write again..stay tuned..ill eventually come up with something that you will like to hear

How many of yall have done this???

yea yea i know it may seem like i am a jerk or what not, but i did this just this evening and i couldn't stop laughing. Ok, here's the scene, I was leaving class, kinda rushing to my car to get home and watch the ending of the Suns/Spurs game. I walked kinda fast to get to the elevator, as i was walking, I knew that there were some people walking a lil bit behind me. I got on the elevator, it was open ready for me, and when i turned around, i saw the 3 young ladies walking towards the elevator. Soo, instead of me being a gentleman and holding the elevator for them, I pushed the hell out of the P2 button and the elevator door shut closed. I was thinking, dam I am insane, because it was so funny to me. I was really in a hurry and i know that is no excuse, but hey its been done to me on several consecutive occasions. It was something different for me though, something I did to spice up my normal, bland, uneventful days. I'm always a nice guy, i am constantly considerate to people and i very rarely feel anything for doing it, because i feel that im supposed to. In closing.....
this is just something that i did today that made me laugh...I'll write again maybe later tonight...