How afraid are you, Hell how afraid am I??

I just had a conversation with a co-worker and he was asking me what I was going to do after I graduated. I went on telling him just a few of my options, I don't like to tell people all of what I'm thinking; just always good to keep that dam trump card...u know. Anyway, I told him about an opportunity I had/have to work in Japan or Korea. He seemed to be real excited and happy for me, then he asked, "what would make you not do it?" My first response was/is I gotta make car payments, but then again, I could just pay it off. Then there's the school loans, but I get like a 6month grace period, I think; I gotta check on that. Then he asked me, "is there any fear holding you back?" This, is what got me thinking, you know cats like me, "I aint scarred of a dam thing, Pssht fear, what is that, cant nobody scare me, I seen it all done it all, I aint scarred of a muthaf@#*in thing!!!" (lol). After he left, I kinda patted myself on the back, thinking, yea...Scarred, AINT IN MY VOCABULARY!!!. I'm going and nothing's gonna stop me. Now I'm thinking, fear, what am I afraid of, HMM... a couple of weeks ago, I went to pick up my cousin from the airport and she was going to stay at my A-P-tizzle for the night. So, when we get back to my spot, I open the door, carry her bags in and put them in the corner. When I turned around she was locking all 3 of the locks and putting the chain on the door. This scarred the hell out of me!!! I was thinking, why the hell is she trying to lock me in this house. Then I got this boost of adrenaline and I was ready for anything. No joking, this scarred the hell out of me. I mean when I come home, the doors stay unlocked, the windows are open and I'm comfortable. To change that, obviously, would make me uncomfortably. But, after talking to my coworker and getting a reality check on what I really fear, I came to the conclusion that I really fear being "boxed in" so to speak. I know I am claustrophobic, and I hate the feeling of being trapped, but I wouldn't consider that a fear, its more like the things that make me uncomfortable, you know, like when you are in a large crowd of people and that same person keeps bumping you. Uncomfortable bordering irritating. I look at my mom, she is probably one of the strongest people I have ever come into contact with, but she seems to be so afraid of everything. Like a couple of years ago I was given a free vacation to Hawaii, I was thinking dam pretty coo. So, it was about the time of my parent's anniversary and I thought it would be cool to give it to them. I mean they raised me and my brothers (did a pretty good job, i think) and they deserve some kind of vacation. When I told my pops about it, he was coo, he was like thanks and all that mushy stuff. Then came my mom, her first words were, "I'M NOT GETTIN ON NO DAM AIRPLANE!!!" I kinda laughed, thinking, hell you cant drive, and a boat trip isn't an option. I asked, WHY....and I bulls@*t you not...she said "I SAW TWO PLANES CRASH INTO BUILDINGS, I'M NOT GETTING ON ANY DAM PLANE!!" I'm like dam, yea that was a tragedy, but how often do planes go flying into buildings, and you are going to be over water. Thats what I don't get, whats there to fear, if something is going to happen there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. I mean honestly, if we were in a restaurant and the kitchen exploded there would be little we could do to stop it from happening, we would get burned pretty badly but hopefully not die. I have told a couple of people this and the feel me, but, where on this planet, in this life is anyone safe from death. Nowhere, so why live your life in fear of what may happen as opposed to making things happen. People are always afraid of what might happen or what can happen. Looking at my life and all that I have seen, when things happen there is very little we can do to stop it, like the exploding kitchen. Now I'm not 2pac, I'm not walking around saying KILL ME, naahhh thats not me at all, but my perspective is, I'm gonna live my life according to my rules, and if I get clipped off along the way, then so be it. Hopefully I would have left y'all with enough memories and experiences to let me live on forever, if not then, hell I guess my time wasn't well spent (lol). For real tho, you live your life afraid of what other people may do because of what you hear on the news and what not, you lose out on every experience that you could have had with the other 3 or 4 billion caring and loving people on this planet. To me that is a total loss, to be afraid limits the capability of yourself. Think about all of the people throughout history who DID things, Martin Luther King, W.E.B. Dubois, Malcom X (little), hell even Barak Obamma, the emperor Constantine, the explorers and navigators of the 15th century. They did what they did because they had a no fear attitude, picture if MLK was afraid; picture if Obamma was afraid, Marcus Garvey, where would we be, not as a race, I'm talking as a species. Man we gotta learn to step up and push that fear out of us....hmm operating without fear....isnt that what freedom truly is?...just a thought.....